Monday, November 21, 2011

Does a full time homemaker swap her mind for a mop?

I just read this article:

I totally agree. I personally am not a fan of talk radio, but there are so many ways to feed and use the mind while being a stay at home mom! I don't know about you, but I look forward to the time when I can be reading and learning while being a stay at home mom. I can't wait to go to the library with my kids and learn about everything! I want to continue to explore and experience life to the fullest. My mom was always taking us on field trips to museums. I know this lifestyle will take my intentional effort and I will give it my full attention. I could see the temptation to get lost in T.V. shows and drama, but I do not do that now and will continue to fill me life with other avenues of growth. I love learning!
I also plan to be using my Master's degree by volunteer teaching marriage and family relations for the community and for LDS services in the evenings. I also am going to be really involved with volunteer work for in children's schools.

How do you keep your mind active as a mom?

Sunday, November 20, 2011

oldest child syndrome

I had no idea that there were so many other people that had a similar experience as me being the oldest child. Because my parents were both working I had to be a parent a lot of the time. I babysat my four younger siblings for hours after school, helped with housework daily, and even financially gave to my family. I didn't really mind then but I can look back and see that this caused trouble with my relationships with people in my family.
 I was in an awkward limbo between being a parent and a child. My siblings needed my help for a lot of things in the absence of my parents but rejected the idea of me "bossing" them around or being to involved in their life. My parent also relied on me for a lot of things, but then they would randomly "put me in my place" that I wasn't the parent. This role that I took greatly effected my future relationships. People think of me all the time as being the "mother". I like to take care of people, but I don't like being such a mom in my relationships, especially with dating. I'm not sure how to get out of this pattern. Any ideas?

Sunday, November 13, 2011


Families will have Crisis. There is no question. How a family handles crisis is what is important. The biggest thing that we must do to handle crisis well as a family is to intentionally pull together and cooperate. This may seem simple but it can take a life time to learn how to CO- Operate. I think to learn this is a huge reason why we have families in the first place. We must learn to be able reach outside ourselves and help another.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Intimacy in Marriage

Something really interesting that I learned and it makes a lot of sense is how men and women view intimacy differently. Men typically are physically intimate to feel more emotionally closer while woman are the opposite and need to feel emotionally secure in order to be fully physically intimate. This is awesome because this is makes it so as a couple you need to take care of your companion's needs before your own can be fulfilled. This can also cause problems because if a woman doesn't feel emotionally fulfilled (she might feel her husband holding back is selfish) then she might hold back physically and hence he won't give more emotionally. This is a common vicious cycle in a marriage.
There is more to it then sex with intimacy. How many peoples' marriages have emotional affairs? We need to be really careful of our relationships we have outside of our marriage. We need to have our independence, but many don't recognize the potential  trouble of creating strong relationships with others outside of the marriage relationship. Innocent conversations sharing about your day, dreams, and feelings creates bonding. Also, spending a lot of time together creates that connection. What happens when you have had multiple experiences of this emotional intimacy? You start to think, "I must be in love." When in reality that bond just happened because of the experience, you aren't meant to be true loves. You have just had your thoughts and emotions validated and now are physically entertaining the idea. We need to be careful even with sharing a lot of our everyday experiences with others more than our spouse. If you tell everyone else about your life you'll be less likely to share with our spouse and miss out on that bonding. Is having a million relationships with many people worth losing out on the relationship with your spouse? I think you do need to have a full well-rounded life but I also think the priority for relationships should be with 1. God 2. Spouse 3. children