This is when all of our interactions have meaning attached to them. When I see someone smile, than I automatically think, "that person is happy." However, technically she is just moving some facial muscles upward and the only thing that leads me to believe that person is happy is that a smile is a symbol of happiness.
I think our symbols vary from person to person. For example, when I see a dog running at me I think he wants to play however, if a child who has been bitten by a dog sees him running towards her she might think the dog is going to bite her. ( Her experience has tinted her glasses of the world)
So in a family it can be seen as;
When I get home and see my Dad doing the dishes for me I think, "He is being nice."
However, if I get home and my roommate is doing the dishes for me I think, "She is upset I didn't do the dishes and is doing them to get her point across."
So when I assume that my roommate is doing the dishes just to be rude, then I would be really defensive.
When in reality she is just trying to do a service for me.
Do you see how assuming, lack of communication, and defensiveness can cause problems? no bueno!
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