Thursday, December 1, 2011

I just watched some cool parenting videos and I liked the examples they gave of good discipline for teens. They said it is important to start out with the least amount of discipline as possible.

1. Start with a Polite request
          a. Kindly ask the teen to change behavior like "Hannah, would you please clean up this room today"

2. If your child still doesn't respond then say "I" statements
         a. Focus on the problem (this room is very messy)
         b. Say how it makes you feel as a person (I feel frustrated)
         c. Reason why you feel that way (because this room is still really messy and our family likes to have a clean home)

3. If there is still no change with the child then have a firm reminder
        a. This is not a time for lecturing about anything- keep it short, respectful, and firm

I thought of how this relates with horses. A good horse rider will tell you that when you are trying to tell your horse to walk somewhere you start with the least amount of pressure. When you kick the horse with your shoe then you start only pushing enough to the horse's hair. If he still isn't responding then you push to put pressure to the skin. Then is he is still not moving you put pressure to the muscle (hard kick). I think this idea of the least amount of discipline is wise for teens because there is no reason to get upset or upset them more than is needed. We don't want them to feel attacked. We want them to act, not react.

No comments:

Post a Comment